I showed him my bush... on skype.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
