You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
