does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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