You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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