Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
