Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
