Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
