Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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