you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
