dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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