I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
