I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This is my gift to your gina
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
