At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
