Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
