Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize