My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
