First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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