you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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