i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize