Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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