as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
