pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize