never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
