I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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