I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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