It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
