Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
