I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
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