Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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