from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
