She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
