so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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