if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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