You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
