I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
