I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
this is an emotional support booty call
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
