Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
