I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
