Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
