Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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