I seem to have left my pride at pride
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
