She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Randomize
