Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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