Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
