apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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