my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
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