I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
