My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
