I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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