Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
