why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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