we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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