It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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