You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
