WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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