I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
