If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
