i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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