hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
