is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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