Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
