Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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