even my farts smell like vagina
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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