Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
