First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is Oprah even human
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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