No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
