Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
