just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
