Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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