I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize