I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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