The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
