Is it normal to miss your booty call?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
