don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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