Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
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