We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
