I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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